i'm a smooth criminal

haha criminail

anyway i am sure that u have heard the legendary MICHAEL JACKSON is dead :'(

at first i wasn't that bothered, but after watching all the dedication programmes, and dancing to him on saturday night it has really hit me that the elvis of our time is dead. i will miss his music i think, i won't miss him, because i didn't know him.

sorry i havn't blogged in a long time, i find it hard to find the motivation for anything nowadays. not that much has happened to be honest. missing sam a little bit, havn't seen him since thursday :( and i found out that he is going on holiday for 3 or 4 weeks :( it annoyed me a little that i had to ask him about it, i wonder if he would have told me if i hadn't asked?

had a well good saturday night, got absolutely smashed. we went to jess' then back to mine coz my sister was having a party.

i love lauren and molly, then make me laugh so much.

want to go to the beach soon, might try and convince someone to drive me there lol.

finally finished my art work (minus the evalutation) today, was working until 3.30 am last night. and didn't get up until 1.30, so i think i could be in trouble with my parents.

DESPERATELY WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY! SOMEBODY TAKE ME?

welllllllll looking forward to reading.

going to lose weight,

bye now x

Born of frustration

alot has gone on since i last blogged. to put it simply... MY PARTY ROCKED!

not too sound big headed but i do think i can hold a good party, good theme: Cowboys and Indians, Bit of drama: Caitlin and Matts sex scandle, Free food, good music, and finished at a reasonable time for all: 2 o'clock am

was abit annoyed with matt and caitlin seeing as my mum walked in on them having sex :S

i mean they could have at least made an effort to go somewhere else, and then to top it off caitlin accused matt of rape. its all sorted but what a silly little slut eh?

other than that, i have just been abit too emotional to my liking. i have a theory its because i hold them in without expressing them (minus the few selected people) and then after a while, usually on a tuesday, i have a break down. usually its my over active imagination.

have been missing sam more than i would have thought through the week, i think i am starting to really like him. i wonder if he feels the same?

my last point today it that i'd like to say i have finally concluded that i do believe inlove, and i will just wait until i believe i am inlove, to state my definition. i also believe that love is universal, i don't think it matters who its with, girls, boys, old, young, its all the same.

also romance isn't flower petals on a bed.

mollys birthday yesterday was fun, the midweek tipples are my favourite :)

feeling abit bogged down today.

i really need to stop bunking school, and just go. 1 out of 3 lessons today.

had my job interview this morning, i think it went well actually. the adams seem really nice, i think the guy who interviewed me was more nervous than me. i really hope i get the job, its perfect.

looking forward to my party on saturday, i hope the weather stays nice. i wish i hadn't of invited so many people, starting to worry a little.

molly asked me the other day if i was inlove with sam, i said no. i don't think i am, i think i might be starting to fall inlove with him, but only slightly. tbh i'm just gonna go back to 'i don't know what love is'. i think its harder for me to tell if i am because this is my first relationship so i have nothing to compare it too. sometimes i wonder if i am emotionally capable of loving someone.

annoyed me a little today that i got no good luck text from sam today, and i had to text him first. but then i suppose he is preoccupied with his exam tomorrow, which is fair enough really, but i just get the feeling he doesn't listen to me sometimes.

amy geyer has pissed me off too. not that we talk, or associate each other as friends any more, but she has deleted me from her facebook friends. it pissed me off because i still invited her to my party, then she deleted me, and we used to be quite close, and she made no effort to stay in contact. oh well.

oh also i got 3 compliments about my eyelashes yesterday :)

rabbit shaped pubes

kitty said she is going to buy me a playboy bunny pube shaper :S LOL

...for my birthday

as for my birthday, it definitely did pick up :) molly, lauren and charlotte came and suprised me with balloons, cards and a cake, which was closely followed by the arrival of sam. then i got rather drunk on wine, went to dinner with my family and sam and then came home. then on saturday i went shopping and bought my birthday party outfit and a gorgeous playsuit and sam took me out for dinner, which was lovely :). all in all it was a very good birthday :) best bit is still to come tho, ahhhh cannot wait for my party! :D

today wow were the trees dancing. scived off school faked ill in the morning, then went to the park with my majoulies. feels so long since we had all been together, it was nice. then we just went back to mollys and jammed.

i turning into such a slob all i seem to do is eat, sleep and lounge lol. welll tomorrow it a fresh start.

anyway i got to go bye x

Birthday Baby

Hmmm today is the day i hit 17! its been okish so far, hopefully it will pick up. i have got some nice presents, and should be seeing some nice people soon :)

feels weird to think i am 17 all ready. i feel so young, yet so old. its hard to remember some years, its gone so fast. i think i feel slightly different from being 16.

mrs grumps

i'm not actually that grumpy, just my sister took a shit and i wanted a shower, and now i have to wait coz it stinks.

i havn't blogged in ages because of exams etc (not that i have filled my empty time with revision) but today was my last one. so glad they're all done now, but i know i am gonna probably have to retake them all :/

oh well i know it sounds backwards but i am just so pleased they are all over so that i can actually get back on track and start fresh.

i was thinking today that sometimes people need to think simply to survive, i think smart people annoy me sometimes, the majority are up them selves and think they're so great. not that i have seen her in a while, but the first person that springs to mind is the patronising robyn.

if u over analyse things it becomes too complicated, and you confuse yourself. i think some people are selfish thinkers, if you stepped back from your problem for a second you would realise its not that big a deal. its only one thing, its not the end of the world, and we only get one life, so if we fuck up one thing, don't waste time, just move on. i think this is why i'm not that bothered about these exams, i know it would be useful if i worked hard, probably make my life alot easier in the long run, but i know when i look back that these last few years i will see have enjoyed them, and i know i won't get them back.

i also think i am finding it hard to find a balance at the moment with friends and boyfriend, and school and going out. its hard tho its like having two seperate lives one in morden and one here, but i am going to try harder. and as for school well i am really looking forward to a fresh start.

i need to get out of my house, family are soooo annoying right now.

finally planned my party, can't wait but need to get a costume.

its my birthday on friday, i really hope its a good one. i had a horrible dream a while ago that it was such a disappointment.

anyway thats it for today :)

bye x