do you know what? i'm sick and tired. sick and tired of your pathetic,, selfish, and somewhat immature behaviour. you're supposed to be my best friends but you don't care, and you make me feel worse than i did before.
i just spoke to alice on the phone and it felt awkward.
i hate this element of competion created between us. who can be better friends?
we've got lost, and i'm scared we'll never get back to how we were. what scares me even more is that you'll read this and stop talking to me, i'm scared that we'll never be how we were and those days are long gone.
none of use really knows whats going on in each others lives.
but who really cares? put number one first, and create your stupid little group.
'any group that would want me apart of it is a group not worth joining at all'.
bye, i'm off to cornwall.

i love roxy music.

i was going to say i don't look like that anymore, but infact i don't think i've actually ever looked like that.

i feel so empty. like a shell. ha the lights are on but no ones home. i'm worried i'm geting lost in myself again. i need to be distracted. perhaps i should finally finish my english essay?

i think i've been through every emotion possible today. i now feel like i'm on the worse come down of my life.
trying to feel better with flete foxes and thoughts of a romantic summer, spent in strawberry feilds forever, with long evenings, pic-nics with bonfires, beaches, love and frienship, sun and lazying around.
i want loud music to blast from my open windows, letting in the bright sunshine.
when i'm this low, i want to be sick all the time.

'tell me anything you want, any old lie will do'

please accept me

9 months...

joy division

feeling really odd, and confused. often a lot of the time i think i'm scared of the answer. i'm a coward, this isn't making sense. bye.

i wish i had a baby like this.

i just know we'll be friends for ever :)

lol: give love a chance. let love in. GROW A BEARD!

what do i do?
camberwell; better than wimbledon, convenietly close but i might meet amy geyer there
st martins; standard is high, dad would be so proud but unlikely to get in, is it worth wasting my choice?
wimbledon; perfect, little bit of a trek but good college, seems relaxed and un-pretentious, only down side is i feel like i'm begging sams friends lol
ravensbourne; assuming its pretty easy to get in according to spam, but doesn't really focus that much on fine art, more media/film based, could open up a whole new career option tho?


*the extent of my wonderful art work

when i do nothing when i should be doing something, i have these rubbish realisations that at the time seem like the only thing that is going to excite my life. current realisation: drop out of school, never sleep any more and eat only meat.

can you come home now? i know its only been 2 days, but on the second day, today i really miss you.