i want some crusha!

a glass of crusha, its tough enough to make milkshake

who else misses that advert? lol it was so good with the little dancing cats, alice does the best impression lol

so good, never bought the product tho

what is love?

do i believe in it?

is it at first sight?

is there an age barrier?

is it an illusion?

can you fall inlove more than once?

are some people actually in love? or do they just think they are?

who defines love? you? a specialist?

how do you know if you are inlove?

how long does it take for people to fall inlove?

if someone says they love someone else, should the someone else say it back even if they don't think they are?

"is it just natures way of getting us to fuck?"

these are all questions that i want answered but of course no one can answer them

some people say you just know, but how can u just know? what if u are wrong? and what if you are but don't realise it because it doesn't meet your expectations?

yes u can probably tell i have been doing my revision for enduring love, and am currently watching the film.

it has made me question my relationship with sam, i know he will probably read this but i don't care because i plucked up the courage to talk to him about it before i posted this entry. besides he knows that this is my little space of internet where i like to express my thoughts and feelings, sounds really gay but it is.

lauren was talking about how her and fred are inlove, but how she isn't planning to stay with him when she goes to uni, and that she will breakup with him because she has to when it comes to it longterm relationships are too hard and she needs time to find her feet and find out who she really is without relying on anyone, but she said if she met him 10 years down the line she'd be happy to settle down with him and have kids etc

sam is going to uni in septemeber, so does this mean our relationship is doomed? pretty much, i can't expect him to try and have a long term relationship through uni. i don't want to end it tho, i enjoy spending time with him and he makes me happy.

tbh i am probably getting ahead of myself just assuming we're going to last that long anyway. but if we do, and we are going to break up it makes me ask the question whats the point?

well i know what the point is, i really like him and enjoy spending time with him so it is worth it, but then that leaves the question does this mean our relationship can only go so far.. like exclusive friends with benefits? coz what happens if i do fall inlove with him? it will be so hard to break up with him, and what if i fall inlove with him, but he doesn't fall inlove with me?

also sometimes i find it hard to believe he's genuine, because he says that he didn't like his last girlfriend, but he stayed with her for i think he said 8 months which is quite a long time, so surely he must have at least pretended to like her? i don't know, i am just so confused, so worried, feel vulnerable and like i am being compared and that i'm not good enough. its probably all in my head, and my emotions are fucked right now, all i need is a cuddle and some reassurance :(

that was how i felt yesterday before i decided that i would talk to him about it before i posted it on my blog, tbh i feel that its unfair when i don't talk to him about it with him and just leave it for him to read and then him bring it up with me. but i did yesterday and he reassured me and we agreed that we would just see how things go, which i am happy to do, i don't want to end it because i really do like him, anyway i think that that is probably enough about sam, i just needed an outlet for all these jumbled up thoughts.

i can't wait for my exams to be over only 2 weeks now i think, when they are over i am going to pursue my romantic desire to paint in the sunlight listening to flete foxes on a sunday afternoon. i also want to get amazingly good at piano, and take up drums again, go to the library and read lots and lots, and paint and redecorate my room. these are things i most want to do over the summer.

i think thats it for today, i should get back to revision, lol loving outkast atm, especially the whole world :)

bye xx